Hello dear Friends! I want to share with you my last painting, rattling and humming creation which is a kind of “coming out” and does feel vulnerable for me (even when it might seem like no big deal to others.) I’m becoming more public about my native heritage now at age 50. The topic never came up before or perhaps I was conforming to the dominant culture, perhaps it was internalized racism, so this was kept somewhat private. (I’m Mestiza. My heritage is Southern European, Native American and West African, I’m originally from Venezuela.) My native self has always been part of my spiritual life. At 4 years old I learned the native origin story of my birth place and where I grew up in the Andes Mountains of Venezuela and the First Woman of the (Mirripuye Timotocuica) tribe. I actually have had the story in my heart always and dance to it often. I did share it occasionally, particularly with my Expressive Arts community who cared about the emotional and spiritual life. But now native things are becoming so mainstream in the culture at large that I have been called to take my place as an elder. For years I have felt a bit guilty about not offering enough spiritual support to humanity, although I have been teaching Expressive Arts for years and years but always feeling pulled by other things like my previous engineering life. Over one year ago I was doubting my path on a regular basis. That has changed radically in this year of planetary transition. Now I have become completely certain and solid regarding my path. Now, even when I have not turned at all on my path, (I have Only walked forward) I see that I am taking my responsibility as an elder of the human tribe. I certainly will not push me 😂 as I am unable to conform to velocity requirements from other people, but this thing is just happening organically and I am just open to it. So this painting and rattling came through depicting the 5 white Eagles that created the permanent glaciers at the top of the mountains of my birth place the Sierra Nevada de Merida Venezuela, the Mother Moon and the First Woman in the Mirripuye Timotocuica tribe. I don’t plan what I will paint so that I have a spontaneous channel that my deepest highest self can use to send messages to my awareness. This is such a message. To me this is a clear sign of my entering spirituality in a deeper way now, integrating more of the being that I really am, and willing to share that with my human tribe, one month before my 51 birthday.
Yes my Timotocuica roots have been part of my life since I was 4 because my grandfather danced with me and I was given the stories, but it has been lonely because the tribe was completely assimilated and the thousands of Mestizos like me haven’t really had access to a lot of the knowledge from that part of our heritage and also there has been self-racism, of course. This is a step in my cherishing all of me more and finding ways to honor all of me the best I can, which translates into being able to love and cherish others in their totality. My heritage is Timotocuica, Spanish and West African. Interestingly I have taken part in Djembe drumming for years before I knew that it is a drum from west Africa!! Also I have been collaborating with the Flamenco Poets Society of Houston for years, that part of my heritage was better known by me. I also love to be, to embody both the oppressed and the oppressor. That is a perfect metaphor for the ways how I have oppressed myself at times and a road map to liberate myself, which is moving forward healthily right now! I am very thankful for having this life opportunity as it has been in so many way! Also I look forward to increasing my knowledge about the parts of myself that have been oppressed by my adaptation to the dominant culture. I also rejoice in seeing a change in that dominant culture thanks to the youth of our time, and movements like BLM ✊🏿 and MeToo that aid in awakening from my own internalized sexism and racism. These are interesting time and I rejoice in the opportunity to see and to somehow in my small way help us humans move forward!! Love and light my dear friends! 😘❤️ Thanks for listening. 🙏
Spontaneous painting can be a powerful tool to shed our cultural indoctrination and accept and honor our deeper nature.
Spontaneous art can aid in your liberation. Here is an example. “The revelation from that painting was “A Hand” that seems to belong to that woman but is coming out far from where she is, so her body doesn’t make sense. Her body “should be different.” During the painting session, I really wanted to change that, cover up that hand. And then I realized that I don’t want to paint over the hand. I want to put a halo on it because the hand is part of the gift. The hand is sacred. The hand doesn’t make sense to the conditioned mind, you know, to the “rule follower.” And that’s the one that I want to shed (or peel off.) I want to gain my freedom and lose my conditioning. I put a halo around the hand that didn’t seem to make sense or fit in, as sacred. That made me think about my body and the things that I want to change about it, or that some people want to criticize about me. Some people pretend that they care about my health or that hate their own body. They dislike their body and are obsessed with that… and have always been obsessed with that. And they spill that venom on other people, anyone who’s around them so they’re very critical of other people’s bodies. In the same way, they’re critical of their own body, emanating from self-rejection and self-hate. And that’s their right, you know. It’s their right to say what they want to say, freedom of expression. And what I would like is for me to not be affected in the least, by that. If I am affected by it, of course, it means that I believe it to some degree. I don’t believe it because I know that my body is sacred exactly as it is, and it makes sense as it is. And perhaps not in the cultural sense, how culture would like to shape me, but it makes sense in the natural being that I am. This painting helps me to understand that, and it was quite strong, the urge to cover up the hand. Leaving the hand there now, I really love it. I love the hand with a halo. And I accept it as part of that beautiful body and it makes sense to me now. So, intuitive painting is a very practical way to turn away from this oppressive slavery to patterns from the culture and turn towards self-acceptance, radical self-acceptance. Which is true freedom and true joy and to be at peace with who I am and to be at peace with my body. To be at peace with how I express myself, to be at peace with every aspect of my expression, to be on my side, to not abandon my side because someone else says that I should be, or think, or say something different. That loyalty to my inner truth is very important and it’s part of what we develop in the spontaneous painting practice.” Lorena Fernandez . #yourself #personalpower #love #selflove #motivation #personalgrowth #grateful #selfawareness #makeithappen #selfcare #youhavethepower #mindsetcreator #self #createlifeyou #livethelifeyouwant #keepgoing #mindset #happen #expressivearts #abundance #all #peace #positive
The whale is symbolic of that which cannot be easily subjugated— just as a person’s inner truth, voice, and creativity cannot be easily silenced. But still… there is vulnerability and the need for protection. Protect your inner truth, voice, and creativity. Be on your side. Express Yourself. ❤️🌷
It has been a couple of beautiful sunny days in Amsterdam and again I appreciate the contrast that allows me to really appreciate good weather. Therefore, this painting is called Contrast. Acrylic on canvas. 70cmx80cm. The painting came with a message from myself to me:
Mi ser interior
Confía en mi sabiduría.
Mi ser interior
me entiende perfectamente,
por lo tanto,
las críticas de los demás
no me duele,
porque mi ser interior sabe que
Son el resultado de una perspectiva
que no tiene nada
que ver conmigo.
Si una critica me duele
Mi ser interior aprende
que hay un punto
De confusión dentro de mí.
Entonces la critica se convierte
en una oportunidad
Para Aclararme en esa área.
Mi ser interior
Confía en mi sabiduría.
My inner being Trusts my wisdom. My inner being understands me perfectly, Thus, criticism from others, does not hurt me. because my inner being knows that It is the result of a perspective that has nothing to do with me. If a comment hurts me My inner being learns that there is a point Of confusion within me. Then the criticism turns Into an opportunity To clarify myself in that area. My inner being Trust my wisdom.
Every day I use colors and chaos and from there I shape something new. Somehow that gives me hope. I try to listen to my feelings and express what is under the surface. I never know beforehand what I will create. I can experience surprise through the way the materials interact. That is exactly what I like. I like to follow my impulses, moment to moment.
My art helps me deal with the need for novelty and the unknown. That need can be a challenge while under the sameness of quarantine.
Here I’m sharing an interview I did for the Facebook group Artists of IEATA with my friend Nina “Anin” Utigaard, a founding member of the International Expressive Arts Therapy Association IEATA who is also a licensed Marriage Family Therapist, MFT, and Registered Expressive Arts Therapist (REAT). She recently relocated to Ashland, Oregon in 2017 but has also continued her private practice in San Francisco.