Native Roots

Hello dear Friends! I want to share with you my last painting, rattling and humming creation which is a kind of “coming out” and does feel vulnerable for me (even when it might seem like no big deal to others.) I’m becoming more public about my native heritage now at age 50. The topic never came up before or perhaps I was conforming to the dominant culture, perhaps it was internalized racism, so this was kept somewhat private. (I’m Mestiza. My heritage is Southern European, Native American and West African, I’m originally from Venezuela.) My native self has always been part of my spiritual life. At 4 years old I learned the native origin story of my birth place and where I grew up in the Andes Mountains of Venezuela and the First Woman of the (Mirripuye Timotocuica) tribe. I actually have had the story in my heart always and dance to it often. I did share it occasionally, particularly with my Expressive Arts community who cared about the emotional and spiritual life. But now native things are becoming so mainstream in the culture at large that I have been called to take my place as an elder. For years I have felt a bit guilty about not offering enough spiritual support to humanity, although I have been teaching Expressive Arts for years and years but always feeling pulled by other things like my previous engineering life. Over one year ago I was doubting my path on a regular basis. That has changed radically in this year of planetary transition. Now I have become completely certain and solid regarding my path. Now, even when I have not turned at all on my path, (I have Only walked forward) I see that I am taking my responsibility as an elder of the human tribe. I certainly will not push me 😂 as I am unable to conform to velocity requirements from other people, but this thing is just happening organically and I am just open to it. So this painting and rattling came through depicting the 5 white Eagles that created the permanent glaciers at the top of the mountains of my birth place the Sierra Nevada de Merida Venezuela, the Mother Moon and the First Woman in the Mirripuye Timotocuica tribe. I don’t plan what I will paint so that I have a spontaneous channel that my deepest highest self can use to send messages to my awareness. This is such a message. To me this is a clear sign of my entering spirituality in a deeper way now, integrating more of the being that I really am, and willing to share that with my human tribe, one month before my 51 birthday.

Yes my Timotocuica roots have been part of my life since I was 4 because my grandfather danced with me and I was given the stories, but it has been lonely because the tribe was completely assimilated and the thousands of Mestizos like me haven’t really had access to a lot of the knowledge from that part of our heritage and also there has been self-racism, of course. This is a step in my cherishing all of me more and finding ways to honor all of me the best I can, which translates into being able to love and cherish others in their totality. My heritage is Timotocuica, Spanish and West African. Interestingly I have taken part in Djembe drumming for years before I knew that it is a drum from west Africa!! Also I have been collaborating with the Flamenco Poets Society of Houston for years, that part of my heritage was better known by me. I also love to be, to embody both the oppressed and the oppressor. That is a perfect metaphor for the ways how I have oppressed myself at times and a road map to liberate myself, which is moving forward healthily right now! I am very thankful for having this life opportunity as it has been in so many way! Also I look forward to increasing my knowledge about the parts of myself that have been oppressed by my adaptation to the dominant culture. I also rejoice in seeing a change in that dominant culture thanks to the youth of our time, and movements like BLM ✊🏿 and MeToo that aid in awakening from my own internalized sexism and racism. These are interesting time and I rejoice in the opportunity to see and to somehow in my small way help us humans move forward!! Love and light my dear friends! 😘❤️ Thanks for listening. 🙏

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I am an artist and Person-Centered Expressive Arts educator. This blog is for sharing my creative work, including demos of intuitive painting, interviews, and other things. Lorena Fernandez

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